- When everything comes in your way you’re in the wrong lane.
- The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.
- Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
- Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
- Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
- The hardest part of skating is the ice.
- The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
- The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
- If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he’ll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.
- If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
- Beat the 5 O’clock rush, leave work at noon!
- If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
- It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.
- I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
- The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
- Kovac’s Conundrum: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
- Cannon’s Karmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
- O’Brien’s Variation Law: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
- Willoughby’s Law : When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
- Cunino’s Law of Burnt Fingers: Hot glass looks same as cold glass.
Everything Fun
Some great one liners and quotes
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- Category: Whacky Stuff
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